2017 is coming to an end. Most people are excited for this year to be over, because they didn't find it that great. While I'm still excited for the new year, I genuinely enjoyed this past year.
It started with my second semester of college. And when that ended, I was very sad. I knew the next school year wouldn't be the same without the same amazing hall mates, the same awesome roommate, and everything would just feel different. I don't have many friends at home compared to at school so I knew I would get lonely quick, not having my best friends right down the hall. During the summer I worked at the Essenhaus which took up many hours and a lot of hard work but I enjoyed it. When I wasn't working I was spending time with my boyfriend. That's another thing this year brought- Matthew. He's my first boyfriend so I don't have much to compare him to but in my opinion he's the best. He's always supportive and caring towards me and I couldn't asking anything more of him.
My second year of college began in August. I was nervous to be on a hall with girls I didn't know and room with someone I barely knew. I was also going to be on the hall leadership team and serve as a Growth Group Leader. I was excited and nervous but ready to take more exciting classes and see my friends again from freshmen year. However, the first 8-weeks of my second year weren't as great as I had hoped.
In October of this year I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It was something I knew I struggled with quite some time but it got to the point where I needed to do something about it. I couldn't keep living like I was. I would often have breakdowns and rarely felt like leaving my dorm room. It was challenging to lead freshmen girls on my hall when I didn't feel like I had things somewhat together. I was a mess.
As the year has continued on, and I've been taking medicine for my anxiety, things have gotten better. I'm more aware of the thoughts that go through my head and what to do when I feel stressed. I've gotten to know myself better and feel like I have things in control more. Throughout this process I knew I had to keep two main things in mind. One is that I'm not alone. I'm not the only person who struggles with anxiety and depression. I have friends and family would love me and are always there for me. Most importantly, I can take any stress and worries to God and he can handle them. He's ultimately in control and I can find peace in that. The second thing I remember daily is that God can use my struggles and pain for good. I don't want to hide my struggles because I know someday I will be able to help someone else who deals with similar things as I do. I've learned in some of my bible studies that God can use pain for growth. My anxiety doesn't weaken me. I can grow stronger because of it. Sometimes I have really rough days and it's hard to stay positive but remembering these two things always keeps me going.
The rest of college life has been going pretty well. I have a great roommate and we get along well. I love the girls in my growth group and enjoy seeing them mature and grow alongside each other. I continue to see my friends from last year and our friendships continue to grow. I've been dating Matthew for a little over 7 months and couldn't be more grateful and blessed by having him in my life. I'm still volunteering with SMM (Sisters Mentoring with a Mission) which is an after school program for elementary school girls where we teach bible lessons and do activities together. I've also volunteered more with campus events and it feelings great getting involved.
The last thing I wanted to write about in this reflection of the past year is my current ideas for the future. I went into college majoring in Educational Ministries and minoring in Intercultural Studies. I wanted to do some sort of mission work or teach at an international school. However, this idea has changed. I still have the same major but my minor has switched to Behavioral Science. My new focus is in women's ministry. I have grown a passion for wanting to mentor and teach women (from young girls to adults). I have already looked into ways to start getting involved now and I'm excited to see where God takes me with this.
As I said before, I'm excited for the new year and the fresh start feeling that comes with it but 2017 hasn't been all that bad. God has done amazing things this year and I'm excited to see what he'll bring into my life in 2018.
It started with my second semester of college. And when that ended, I was very sad. I knew the next school year wouldn't be the same without the same amazing hall mates, the same awesome roommate, and everything would just feel different. I don't have many friends at home compared to at school so I knew I would get lonely quick, not having my best friends right down the hall. During the summer I worked at the Essenhaus which took up many hours and a lot of hard work but I enjoyed it. When I wasn't working I was spending time with my boyfriend. That's another thing this year brought- Matthew. He's my first boyfriend so I don't have much to compare him to but in my opinion he's the best. He's always supportive and caring towards me and I couldn't asking anything more of him.
My second year of college began in August. I was nervous to be on a hall with girls I didn't know and room with someone I barely knew. I was also going to be on the hall leadership team and serve as a Growth Group Leader. I was excited and nervous but ready to take more exciting classes and see my friends again from freshmen year. However, the first 8-weeks of my second year weren't as great as I had hoped.
In October of this year I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It was something I knew I struggled with quite some time but it got to the point where I needed to do something about it. I couldn't keep living like I was. I would often have breakdowns and rarely felt like leaving my dorm room. It was challenging to lead freshmen girls on my hall when I didn't feel like I had things somewhat together. I was a mess.
As the year has continued on, and I've been taking medicine for my anxiety, things have gotten better. I'm more aware of the thoughts that go through my head and what to do when I feel stressed. I've gotten to know myself better and feel like I have things in control more. Throughout this process I knew I had to keep two main things in mind. One is that I'm not alone. I'm not the only person who struggles with anxiety and depression. I have friends and family would love me and are always there for me. Most importantly, I can take any stress and worries to God and he can handle them. He's ultimately in control and I can find peace in that. The second thing I remember daily is that God can use my struggles and pain for good. I don't want to hide my struggles because I know someday I will be able to help someone else who deals with similar things as I do. I've learned in some of my bible studies that God can use pain for growth. My anxiety doesn't weaken me. I can grow stronger because of it. Sometimes I have really rough days and it's hard to stay positive but remembering these two things always keeps me going.
The rest of college life has been going pretty well. I have a great roommate and we get along well. I love the girls in my growth group and enjoy seeing them mature and grow alongside each other. I continue to see my friends from last year and our friendships continue to grow. I've been dating Matthew for a little over 7 months and couldn't be more grateful and blessed by having him in my life. I'm still volunteering with SMM (Sisters Mentoring with a Mission) which is an after school program for elementary school girls where we teach bible lessons and do activities together. I've also volunteered more with campus events and it feelings great getting involved.
The last thing I wanted to write about in this reflection of the past year is my current ideas for the future. I went into college majoring in Educational Ministries and minoring in Intercultural Studies. I wanted to do some sort of mission work or teach at an international school. However, this idea has changed. I still have the same major but my minor has switched to Behavioral Science. My new focus is in women's ministry. I have grown a passion for wanting to mentor and teach women (from young girls to adults). I have already looked into ways to start getting involved now and I'm excited to see where God takes me with this.
As I said before, I'm excited for the new year and the fresh start feeling that comes with it but 2017 hasn't been all that bad. God has done amazing things this year and I'm excited to see what he'll bring into my life in 2018.
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"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." - Matthew 6:34
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