Overthinking- something I think everyone is familiar with, especially if you are in a season of life where you need to make big decisions and you have a perfectionist personality. And if that's the case, I'm right there with you!
One of my goals for 2020 has been to have more fun and take more risks. If you know me, my idea of fun is normally just having a girl's night in with a chick flick and junk food. While this is fun, there is so much more to enjoy in life and "risk" is barely in my vocabulary. Last year one of the riskiest, spontaneous things I did was order the flavor-of-the-day at Culver's without knowing what the flavor was until I pulled up to window two (shoutout to Carli for witnessing this hahah). So in 2020, I'm committing myself to try something new or do something spontaneous every month.
In January, I went on a plane ride with my sister and her boyfriend who has his pilot's license. (This was something I would've done anyway but the day we did it wasn't planned.) In February, I got my cartilage pierced, something I've been wanting for a while and finally just did it without planning much. And now in March, I'm currently on a solo vacation in Ann Arbor, MI. I booked myself an Airbnb and am vacationing alone. I'll be seeing friends during my trip but it's crazy to go somewhere new by yourself.
During my drive, I listened to a podcast episode from my favorite podcast and the topic was on overthinking. (Podcast: Girl's Night with Stephanie May Wilson, Episode #85- How to Stop Overthinking Everything) I highly recommend you listen to it, even if you don't think you struggle with overthinking because, wow- there is so much goodness in this episode!
Before listening to this podcast, I thought of overthinking as thinking too much about something that's not worth the time or those moments when you can't fall asleep because there's so much on your mind. Stephanie's guest on the podcast is Anne Bogel who defines overthinking as "when your brain is hard at work, but accomplishing nothing."
Sometimes we think we are overthinking something when in reality, it requires more thought than "normal" decisions. For example, you are going to think a lot more about taking a new job or getting into a new relationship than you'll think about what to eat for dinner. Sometimes it seems like we are overthinking something when really, it requires more thought.
During the podcast, Stephanie described her experience with overthinking and said that she often reminds herself "You can't solve this in a day." This phrase struck me so much. So often I find myself wanting to fix something, solve it, or figure it out all in a day. Reminding myself that I don't have to have the answer right away has changed my perspective about making decisions. It sounds so obvious to say, of course I don't have to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life right now. But I often put expectations on myself to figure it out or pressure to decide faster. But in reality, I have time and it doesn't have to be solved today.
Stephanie and Anne also discussed how we tend to put pressure on the decisions we make, even small ones. An example they used is when you wake up in the middle of the night and think to yourself "I should get up and go to the bathroom" but you don't want to because you're warm and comfortable but in the amount of time you're thinking about whether you should get up or not, you could've been up and make in bed. I thought this sounded a silly example but last night I found myself in this exact situation. I fought the urge to get up but I was reminded by Anne's words about when situations like this occur or any little thing we tend to unnecessarily overthink, make the decision to just always do it. So whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and think "should I get up to go to the bathroom?" I'm just going to do it.
This morning I found myself debating, or overthinking, whether I should wear a cardigan or not. I often wear my favorite cardigan over t-shirts but I found myself overthinking it this morning. So I just decided to wear it since I had already put it on and by lunch, I've received two compliments on it from strangers, which made me feel good. This again is a small decision so let's think about something more important.
When we are making bigger decisions like taking a job or getting in a new relationship or buying a house, whatever it is, Anne talked about the importance of making these decisions based on your personal values. Determining your values and making decisions based on them will help you feel more at ease about your choices and not overthink as much. For example, I value being able to have time in my schedule for volunteering and ministry. Therefore, I'm not going to take a job if I can't make time for what fills me up and makes me feel joy. Another example, I won't date someone who isn't a Christian. So if a guy asked me out and isn't living his life for Jesus, I would say no. Making value-based decisions helps us overthink less which helps us live more.
There is so much more in the podcast but I wanted to share what I learned and I hope it helped you too. Overthinking is something we're all familiar with and just the slightest shift in perspective can transform the way we think and help our overall mental health.
e.k.
One of my goals for 2020 has been to have more fun and take more risks. If you know me, my idea of fun is normally just having a girl's night in with a chick flick and junk food. While this is fun, there is so much more to enjoy in life and "risk" is barely in my vocabulary. Last year one of the riskiest, spontaneous things I did was order the flavor-of-the-day at Culver's without knowing what the flavor was until I pulled up to window two (shoutout to Carli for witnessing this hahah). So in 2020, I'm committing myself to try something new or do something spontaneous every month.
In January, I went on a plane ride with my sister and her boyfriend who has his pilot's license. (This was something I would've done anyway but the day we did it wasn't planned.) In February, I got my cartilage pierced, something I've been wanting for a while and finally just did it without planning much. And now in March, I'm currently on a solo vacation in Ann Arbor, MI. I booked myself an Airbnb and am vacationing alone. I'll be seeing friends during my trip but it's crazy to go somewhere new by yourself.
During my drive, I listened to a podcast episode from my favorite podcast and the topic was on overthinking. (Podcast: Girl's Night with Stephanie May Wilson, Episode #85- How to Stop Overthinking Everything) I highly recommend you listen to it, even if you don't think you struggle with overthinking because, wow- there is so much goodness in this episode!
Before listening to this podcast, I thought of overthinking as thinking too much about something that's not worth the time or those moments when you can't fall asleep because there's so much on your mind. Stephanie's guest on the podcast is Anne Bogel who defines overthinking as "when your brain is hard at work, but accomplishing nothing."
Sometimes we think we are overthinking something when in reality, it requires more thought than "normal" decisions. For example, you are going to think a lot more about taking a new job or getting into a new relationship than you'll think about what to eat for dinner. Sometimes it seems like we are overthinking something when really, it requires more thought.
During the podcast, Stephanie described her experience with overthinking and said that she often reminds herself "You can't solve this in a day." This phrase struck me so much. So often I find myself wanting to fix something, solve it, or figure it out all in a day. Reminding myself that I don't have to have the answer right away has changed my perspective about making decisions. It sounds so obvious to say, of course I don't have to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life right now. But I often put expectations on myself to figure it out or pressure to decide faster. But in reality, I have time and it doesn't have to be solved today.
Stephanie and Anne also discussed how we tend to put pressure on the decisions we make, even small ones. An example they used is when you wake up in the middle of the night and think to yourself "I should get up and go to the bathroom" but you don't want to because you're warm and comfortable but in the amount of time you're thinking about whether you should get up or not, you could've been up and make in bed. I thought this sounded a silly example but last night I found myself in this exact situation. I fought the urge to get up but I was reminded by Anne's words about when situations like this occur or any little thing we tend to unnecessarily overthink, make the decision to just always do it. So whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and think "should I get up to go to the bathroom?" I'm just going to do it.
This morning I found myself debating, or overthinking, whether I should wear a cardigan or not. I often wear my favorite cardigan over t-shirts but I found myself overthinking it this morning. So I just decided to wear it since I had already put it on and by lunch, I've received two compliments on it from strangers, which made me feel good. This again is a small decision so let's think about something more important.
When we are making bigger decisions like taking a job or getting in a new relationship or buying a house, whatever it is, Anne talked about the importance of making these decisions based on your personal values. Determining your values and making decisions based on them will help you feel more at ease about your choices and not overthink as much. For example, I value being able to have time in my schedule for volunteering and ministry. Therefore, I'm not going to take a job if I can't make time for what fills me up and makes me feel joy. Another example, I won't date someone who isn't a Christian. So if a guy asked me out and isn't living his life for Jesus, I would say no. Making value-based decisions helps us overthink less which helps us live more.
There is so much more in the podcast but I wanted to share what I learned and I hope it helped you too. Overthinking is something we're all familiar with and just the slightest shift in perspective can transform the way we think and help our overall mental health.
e.k.
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